Just another WordPress.com weblog
Category Archives: nonsense verse
Watch this site – http://writersandauthors.blogspot.com/2010/06/w-writing-contest-coming-soon.html
While you are there, have a peek at the interview – http://writersandauthors.blogspot.com/search?q=Poulter Check out the links too, including one to a FREE press release posting site!
The interview features info on my new book, coming out with PicPocket Books on iphone in August. It was created in collaboration with Monica Rondino, Andrea Pucci and my youngest daughter, Estelle Poulter. Parents and others – do you have teething babies or toddlers who bite and have older siblings who object to being bitten? You might just find some help to be had reading this humorous story with a rhyming element!
Peter Taylor, the multi-talented SCWBI Coordinator , Queensland chapter, and the Book Safari Coordinator, the inimitable Jenny Stubbs roped me in to help with the Book Safari tents at Woodlands. This was a first for me and proved to be an excellent networking and promotional activity. Opportunity abounded to talk to lots of teachers, students and other writers, illustrators, publishers and editors. In other words it was reading, hearing, viewing and doing STORIES, pretty much non stop!
Links: Another great blog on the Ipswich Festival of Children’s Literature –
Here is a pictorial overview from the days I was there – 2nd, 3rd and 5th of September. PHOTOGRAPHS: 1-3 Woodlands;
4-6 Editors, Presenters, Writers and more…
7-9 Illustrators and workshops…
10-13 The nomads at their tents…
14 & 15 Jenny Stubbs and the Coordinating Team outside the Jacaranda Room; MS Readathon Tent
16 – 19 The people who keep the writers and illustrators viable – the amazing folk of the BOOK GARDEN!
Like all good illustrators, Matias is a storyteller with paint and ink. The joy of working with folk like Mattias, Angel Dominguez, Bernhard Oberdieck, Nick Harris, Sarah Davis and others, is that they can load layers of meaning into a single picture adding dimension to the text. They are also able to add illustrative subplots of their own that augment the main plot and add visual interest. The other joy, and I speak here as a writer, is that their very doodlated sketches and ‘just for me/ for fun’ works speak, story positively oozing out the edges. I have episodes of total right brain escapism let loose with Mattias’ tantalising takes on everything and anything and more. Many of the Wacky Wordages on my blog or available for teachers and students and others via www.sharing-books.com, are the result of such episodes of creative indulgence.
and more characters…
Jennifer: The comic book element is present in many of your blog posts, you mentioned a course in comic writing/creation. What brought on that deviation? What are you ambitions in venturing into that genre?
I’m not a big comic reader (I used to be though) but I’d like to do some kind of comics/book soon. My priority has to be making a living though, so it’s hard finding time making something like books and comics on my own time without the monetary backing.
Jennifer: The sense of story in your works is strong. Do you have plans for your own children’s picturebook? What about a darkly humorous graphic novel? [You keep tantalizing us with hints of projects underway.]
Mattias: I have a problem with too many ideas at the moment, I need to focus on print and leaving the web perhaps, I spend far too much time doing internet things. Maybe a yearlong web sabbatical would do the trick.
Characters in current book project, “Improbable Adventures…” :
Jennifer: I find your work inspiring in a dangerously right brain way!
Do you find the drawings evolve themselves from the end of your pen and do their own thing or do you try to control them?
Mattias: I often say that the drawing kind of evolves rather than being planned, but when I look at the drawings I do, or rather, I can see certain themes, I guess that my right brain does know what it wants to draw…
Some of Mattias’ ‘right brain inspired’ series :
Jennifer: Do you get many approaches from the corporate world? I mean if I were Mojo, I’d want you to design my logo! What are some of the more oddball commissions you have had?
Which commissions do you enjoy the most?
Mattias: I get some approaches but not enough and far too few are oddball, I’d love to do textiles or pottery (not sure about the right name for this). The strangest was doing fashion Illustrations for an English magazine (I’m totally uninterested in fashion). The best commissions I’ve done are when I get a free hand (surprise)!
A variety of output….
Jennifer: There is a great ‘new’ interview with Mattias on Design Taxi for the curious. So, Mattias, having barraged you with questions, which one that you DESPERATLEY wanted me to ask, have I left out? Now is your turn!
Mattias: Do you sometimes fret over if you are too much of an illustrators’ Illustrator and may be not have a very commercial style? The thought has occurred to me lately. I’m trying to get commission work and maybe an art sales rep, but it’s hard and very time consuming.
Jennifer notes: The mechanics of earning a living with art and literature require, especially in in the early stages of ‘breaking in’, other work which seems constantly to threaten to rob that precious and closely guarded creative element, ‘time’, and yet the art/literature is the raison d’être and the other, the ‘intrusive’ work, merely essential if the writer/artist is to do something as mundane as eat.
More variations of Mattias’ output:
And, just to show Mattias does not just do humorous work, but very delicate and detailed pieces as well, I have included the flowers at the end of the interview.
Little People shouldn’t play… by J.R.Poulter 08
Little people shouldn’t play
With things that stab and prick, okay!
I say this to you little man
For your protection and I am
Going to take your sword away!
No off you go, good boy, and play!
Expelling spell by J.R.Poulter
Now which one was it?
I must get it right!
The king wants his horse,
He wants it tonight
And, of course,
He can’t ride it far in ajar!
Abble dabble kibble cow
Come out now!
That didn’t work
Ribbit! Tip Rabbit!
Jars are a bad habit!
Give up and get out!
Well I could try and fake it
And just up and break it!
But how do I
Resize the horse that is in it
When I’m on a deadline
That ends in ONE MINUTE!
Cat Character No. 1: “Mes Feline” by J.R.Poulter
I have a cat in a bowler hat
Who struts his stuff in style!
He went to dine at Le Chez Feline
And ordered jalapos and wine.
>o >o > o >o
The wine was fine but the chilli was hot,
Hot as pepper from the pot!
The cat spat the chilli back into the vat,
Threw up in his bowler hat,
Was booted out onto the welcome mat.
>o >o > o >o
A sorry cat with a ruined hat,
He sadly sat under the neon sign
Drank the rest of the bottle of wine
And that was that for mes feline!
Laddy McLaird, a grim, ghastly tale wi’ a beard!
by J.R.Poulter 08
Fair Laddy McLaird was the baddest o bairns
Ever born in the Valley o Bones
A wild wicked child with the tricks and the wiles
Of many a blackguard full grown!
Though the Elders it seems were aware of his schemes,
They turned a blind eye till he bit Piper Skye
But what’s worst, Piper fell on his pipes,
The bag burst and by cripes
The Piping the Haggis was wrecked!
That was the last straw they declared Lad outlawed
Twas high time the boy learned respect!
McKenna, McKanna, Auld Willy McGraw
The McCougalls, McDougalls and Curly McHaugh
Chased Laddy from town with staves and with staffs
And accompanied his exit with full bellied laughs!
Now they’d chased Laddy down, right out of the town
Far, far from his home in the Valley o Bones.
Till they came to the loch, “G’won scram,!”
Lad could nay swim but had na mind to drown!”
Lad was a fast learner, with nary a murmur
He leapt in the loch and he swam!
When he came to the shore
It was night cold and raw and off in the distance he saw
A light – twas a fire and as he drew nigher
He found a giant maggot frying fish over faggots
“Gimme some or I squish yer!!” he cried!
The maggot was clever but terribly slow and so
So he moved like a lardy great blob.
Lad snatched up the fish and finished the dish
By emptying the lot down his gob!
“Oi Thar!” cried the Maggot emitting a sob,
It’s cold and I’m awfully famished”!
“No worries!” sneered Lad, “you’re meal was na bad.
So yer won’t have to beg and be sorry!
Just get off yer flub, yer fat useless grub
And I won’t turn you into a curry!”
Lad spent a quiet night by the faggot’s firelight
And cooked up the maggot for supper
There was plenty to eat and meat was quite sweet
For the maggot had plenty of blubber.
The next morning Lad woke as the sun up and broke
Like an egg on the mountains above him.
He filled up a flagon and I’m never braggin’
His thirst was the size of Loch Ness!
Then he loaded what’s left of the maggot and faggots
Upon the poor larvae’s own wagon.
About midday, about midway
Across the plain under the mountain
Lad thought he saw something that could be a bird
But as it came closer, proved much more absurd.
He shook his head in disbelief
And took a long pull on his flagon,
‘Twas never a bird the likes HE’d ever heard
But rather more like, well, a dragon!
It soared down towards him. Our Lad got prepared.
But the closer it got, he could see what ‘twas not
And the weirder ‘n wilder ‘n worse it appeared!
There was one thing this dragon had lots!
“Why it has na meat on it!
It’s naught but bare bones!
What harm can a thing do
That’s spare as the stones?”
Lad stood his ground as the dragon flew down
But the closer it drew, this foul stench kinda grew.
The dragon breathed naught but foul air!
“What kind of a beast am I goin’ to defeat?
I want to be feared for the warfare I wage
For my cunning and cruelty and terrible rage!
This joke of a monster’s not fair!”
The dragon swooped on him, he thought he’d be sick
The odour was awful, it made the air thick!
It flung wide it jaws. Lad saw down its throat.
There was nothing but spareribs that’s worthy of note.
So he skewered the creature head down on a tree
Then proceeded to cook up the spareribs for tea!
With all this strange food, young McLaird grew a beard
And figured he’d figure’s a figure much feared.
So he claimed dragon castle and won it’s fair maid
And headed for home with the loot he had made.
Now the folk in the Valley had thought Lad was dead
Or at least that was what all the elders had said.
So when this strange stranger came thundering down
From the high mountain passes into their wee town
They voted him TOPS as the ugliest Scot
Ere to down a wee drop and made him the Laird o the Crofts.
Lad became legend! Just one wee thing peeved,
Not one of his tales of his feats were believed….
Pandamonium! By J.R.Poulter
Where his belly button’s at
He thinks it’s moved, but it might be
That Panda’s getting fat!
He’s also found his toes are all
Slipping fast from view
Underneath an overhang
That’s made of Panda too.
He’s got a taste for honey
When he should be eating greens!
Didn’t listen to his Mummy
Hid his bamboo shoots and beans!
He has to exercise he’s told
Or he will get so big,
He’ll be just like a roley ball
And look more like a PIG!
Come on Panda, Panda do
Have a waggle, waggle, wiggle,
Wag your tum and bottom too!
Waggle, wiggle, wiggle, jiggle,
What a giggle!
You join too!
Come ‘n join him, join in wiggling!
It’s more fun when there are two
To wiggle jiggle giggling,
Even MORE when there’s a few!
Panda’s dancing! Panda’s dancing!
Do you fancy dancing too?
Come’n join him! Come’n join him
There’s room for ALL of you!
Oh dear, the floor is sagging
From the stompy bompy feet
The foundations are all caving in
SCRASH! We’re in a heap!
Oh that was fun!
Let’s go some more,
But better do our dance
I fell in love with this introspective little Panda and thought I’d bring him out of his shell – Joy thought that was a good idea too! This was the result!
Joy’s website is http://joystewy.com/illustrations.cfm
This poem and illustration feature in a book we are preparing for Sharing Books [www.sharing-books.com]
REFLECTION UPON THE SELF PORTRAIT OF MATTIAS ADOLFSSON, by J.R.Poulter
Nice shade of Blue!
Do you do other Hues too?
A puce or vermillion
Could look like a Million.
Heliotrope’s a nice shade
But a bit prone to fade….
Just tan is so boring,
Common White isn’t scoring
Can you really bare to be inked
And then there’s yellow
Well that ‘s a tad mellow…
At least on the fashion track.
I do think blue
Looks good on you!
Would you colour me too?
[This is brave stuff – he has also done a selfportrait as a merman, or is it being half eaten by a sharkodile? I might have to do a wacky wordage on that one too…]